Sunday, November 27, 2011

Fear vs. Hope

I realized the day after I wrote about aliens that it was a post generated by and promoting fear.  At least that's how I feel about it, and that's not really what I intended to do.

Do the alien dreams I have genuinely worry at me?  Yes.  Do videos like the one I posted freak me out?  Yes.  Do I think there is a rational reason to be afraid, and that the phone call in that video is genuine?  At the risk of sounding like a lunatic, yes.

After all that, do I think our future is bleak and hopeless?  No.  A thousand times no.

I'm not always entirely sure where the hope lies.  Sometimes I get overwhelmed by how big and out of my hands it all seems, how little there appears to be that I can do.  This is true of life in general, and at times I've allowed myself to sit and stagnate.

That, I've learned, doesn't help.

I'm not always sure what action I can take to make myself feel better, and the idea of being in control of something I know precious little about other than how deeply troubled I feel about it is ludicrous, really.  I think the best I can do is try my hardest to make day to day decisions about life that I can live with, and be prepared to put up a fight against Darkness and Evil wherever I see them.  Hopefully then, if the shit hits the fan in a way that I've dreamt about, I'll be ready to do something about it instead of being frozen in fear.

And if it never happens, well, then I'll have lived a life that I hope I can look back on and say, yes, I did the best I could with what I had, and I strove to improve on that every day, and promote Light instead of Darkness, and Hope instead of Fear.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Alien Encounter

As far back as I can remember I have had strange dreams.  I say strange but what I really mean is other people find them strange, disturbing even, while I find them perfectly normal.  To wake up after having been run through with a spear held by Mel Gibson's William Wallace intrigues me.  I find it simple to go about my day after running from former friends by escaping through a secret door into a snow maze in a town suddenly filled with enemies at every long as it happened in a dream.

Every so often I'll have a dream that for no rational reason disturbs me.  Sometimes it'll be a dream about demons, but those don't always bother me upon waking.  A dream about Oliver Twist, or being an orphan, or being chased by a clown who wanted to drug me with cough syrup.  It's usually because of whatever the dream was telling me, and I know to pay attention to those ones, the ones that last with me all day.

There are only two categories of dreams that I always awaken from in a cold sweat.  Dreams about Ecthroi - and dreams about aliens.  I've only had Ecthroi dreams in the past few years.  I've had alien dreams almost as long as I can remember.  They've always left me deeply terrified, the kind of fear you'd get if someone really truly was out to harm you and there was nothing you could do about it.

The dreams all have similar points in common.  They always start innocuously, with me looking up at the night sky and enjoying, or at the least indifferent to, the stars.  Every time I notice that some of the stars are different colours than normal - faintly green or red.  And every time, once I notice that, I see that these stars are moving, and creating formations, and coming down out of the sky.  They are not stars at all.  They're ships, filled with aliens.

This is where the variations come in.  The aliens either kidnap me and send me to another world to work as a slave, a world that I have no chance of ever escaping, so that I will never get to come back home to my family where I belong.  Or they pretend to be friends of mankind but the moment that anyone expresses doubt (or even thinks doubtful thoughts) they begin their hostile takeover.  Or they don't bother with the facade and just begin killing and enslaving mankind.

I always have the urge to hide, every time.  You know that urge you got when you were a kid (and maybe still get now although you'll never admit it), that crazy sudden need to hide as fast as possible from what, you never really knew?  And there was a hint of exhilaration, like how a kitten must feel when they're going through their midnight crazies?  Well, it's like that but instead of excitement it's terror, sheer terror, and I know to my bones that if I don't hide, if I can't get away, that my life is going to be complete hell.  It'll probably be a really short life, but what's left of it will be hell on earth.

So when I see videos like this...well, it gets to me.  Because this is what I see - and I've seen it since before I knew about the internet.  When I didn't have a TV.  When there was no way that I know of that I could have gotten this information from anywhere but my own subconscious mind.  And I don't know how to reconcile that without freaking myself the hell out.

Yeah.  That phone call at the end?  FREAKS ME OUT.  Genuinely.  Because it sounds absolutely real and if it is, what does that mean?

What does that mean for all of us?

I've recently heard an idea that what we perceive as UFOs are not extraterrestrial in origin, but supernatural.  That resonates with me, and not in a good way.  If you think about it, almost all UFOs and aliens behave in ways that defy the laws of physics...but they follow all of our understood rules for the supernatural.  Plus, they've been lying to us on a regular basis about where they come from.  Anything that shows up and lies to us can't be trusted - I'd go further and say that they're probably our enemies.

What if aliens aren't from another world at all?  What if they're just another, modern disguise for demons?

I know some people who read this will write me off as a kook.  And some of you will think it's endearing, how I believe this is all true.  But I don't really care.

Because I'm the one having the dreams.