Thursday, May 29, 2008


We start the long arduous hike into the hills. We aren’t even 80 steps up when Jacob tries to push past me.
“You have to follow me, remember?” I say, gently guiding him behind me.
He whines but steps in line. I stop to interpret the layers in the rock we are climbing and Jacob darts past me. “You have to go behind me!” I repeat. More whining but he obeys.

We climb some more. He pushes ahead. I repeat the rules, he whines, and each time gets in line with more and more reluctance until he’s really not listening to me anymore. His teacher makes an effort to get him to go to the back of the line where both the teacher and the chaperone are (which, might I add, is not helping me one bit). When we get to the plateau, the kids run every which way and very little, if any, of what I’m trying to teach them about rocks is getting through. It’s a garboil if ever I saw one.

By the end of the hike I’ve decided that I don’t like 3rd graders.

As we arrive back at the gift shop, his teacher turns to me and says, "ADHD The Movie: Starring Jacob" as way of explanation and, I think, apology. It makes sense of Jacob's behaviour and I wish I'd known that at the beginning of the hike. Maybe I could have used Jacob's energy instead of fighting it the whole time.

It's all a learning experience, I guess.

Even if all we learned by the time the tours were done was that all 6 of us tour guides don’t want kids anymore.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Where the Coal Train Loads

I'm working at the Coal Mine now, which means that I've spent the last four days reading miner stories and miner interviews and mining history, with a bunch of geology thrown in for good measure. I'm taking Geo Hikes up the hills next week which will be fun since I've never witnessed one of these hikes - I get to wing it. With Grade 3's. Hopefully it'll all work out.

I have an audition in Edmonton next Monday. I hope it goes well. It's for a touring company that tours Shakespeare into schools. I think I'd enjoy it...I like Shakespeare...but we'll see.

And that's the up-date for my life.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Life in the Last Few Days

I auditioned for a film agent. T. and I left Craving rehearsal early and rushed over to the building, getting there fifteen minutes late. There were four people ahead of us when we got there – L. and three U of A grads who were most entertaining. They were so friendly and chatty that by the time the voice from the bottom of the stairs called me in for my audition I was relaxed and ready to have fun. I felt pretty good about the audition – until I heard back from the agency last night. They aren’t ready to put me on the roster, said the lady, which is fine. I don't think I'm really that interested in film. Her feedback is what I've been obsessing over.
On Emerge: I was subtle and understated which they really liked, since so many people were over the top and theatrical. (Great. I'm too subtle for theatre work.) However, I had a lot of emotion in my pieces, and they thought I did great. In the audition for them, though, I was too exact with the text. (So I have too many theatre habits to be a film actor. Damn. I’m too much of a theatre actor for film and too subtle to get any work in theatre.)
This was still eating at me when I woke up the next morning. One day I’ll learn to let go of these things. For now I still need to take the deep breaths and remind myself that I have something to offer, “even if I’m not quite sure yet what that is.”

Craving opened to a full house. Every time I looked out into the audience the bodies and blurred faces startled me. I haven’t played to real people for a while but it was nice. I heard laughter I recognized and saw faces I knew.
I’m trying to describe things in more sensory detail but I don’t have any memories of the senses last night – except the wonderful chocolate cupcake from Crave that the producer bought for us; the mass of caramel that stuck to my teeth after I ate the Rolo; the panic of chocolate-choking that happens when you inhale the vapour of chocolate melted in your mouth as I was trying to speak; the keen awareness of eyes as people were watching me ‘puke’ on stage; the gasp of the audience when I said I was 72 pounds. The smarting in my eyes, the swelling of my lungs, the anger in my chest as I rode the roller coaster through the show.

I hope it goes well right to the end of the run – only three more days, four more shows.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


The porcupine looked up, his confused little face all bunched up against the bright lights of my car.

Car: Thunk.

Me: Oh no! Oh no!

T.: [starts moaning softly in the seat beside me]

A.: [begins laughing in the back seat]

Me: I've never killed an animal with my car before!

[We go back to look for the poor little thing but can find neither hide nor hair nor quill, so we conclude that since I only hit it with my bumper and I'd slowed down a lot, that I only gave it a small concussion and it went on it's way, hopefully wiser for the experience.]

Saturday, May 10, 2008

A Little Freaked Out


Because I've been informed of 3 - count it, people, 3 - engagements in the last 10 days.

All among my peers.

I am joining the generation of people coupling up and settling down. I didn't think I was that old yet! I don't feel that old yet. Or mature. How - when - did this happen?

But it is spring, so I guess love is in the air. And with love, comes a lot of wedding bells.

Even if it does freak me out a little.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Good Day

I'm trying Safari on my computer.  The more I have to do with Macs and their software, the more I like them.  I think when I have to replace this computer, I'll get a Mac.

Speaking of replacing things - I think I need to get a smaller car.  Mine is still in good shape and runs really well - especially when you consider it has 293,000 kilometers on it - but with gas prices going the way they are, I just can't afford to drive it anymore.  22 mpg just doesn't cut it.

I just came from the second full run we've done of the show I'm in rehearsals for.  We open in two weeks and I think we'll be ready.  At the end we did press shots and we got to eat cream puffs.  The show is about a girl with an eating disorder (played by me), which is why the cream puffs had relevance to the photo shoot.  I like that we got to eat them for real when the photo is all about me distancing myself from food.

Right now S. is about to begin his last performance of the show he's in.  I'm so proud of him.  He's done really well.  Of course I may be a bit biased - but he is a really talented actor and it makes my heart do a little dance to see him do what he loves to do, and do it so well.

It's spring here - the frogs are singing loudly, the ducks and geese are (probably) eating them with satisfaction, and I'm putting my roses outside for a few hours a day so they can get used to the breeze - and hopefully the bugs that have been slowly killing them will go away and find some hardier wild plant to infest.

Top that all off with a visit from L., and I'm having a pretty darn good day.