Tension

I hate walking into a room that is full to the brim of tension; feelings running high, tangible, you could cut through this negative energy with a knife.

A dull knife.

All I can do is avoid taking it in and try to bring a positive light into the space.

So that's what I'll do.

Blanking

I just lost lines I know cold, in our first off-book run.

Boo.

Oh well. That's life for you sometimes.

Our Little Secret

We've stopped giving Z. any human food. She was getting so gassy it became a necessity.

Except I just gave her a piece of cheese, and said, "Shh. It'll be our secret."

Until she fart-alarms herself and stinks us out, anyway.

Age

My little brother is 27 today. By his next birthday he'll have a little baby.

Some people my age (29) hide their years as if getting old was something to be ashamed of. Sometimes I fall into that trap too, but mostly I try to follow my mom's lead and remember that not everyone gets a 29th birthday, so I will count it as a blessing and enjoy every year as if it were my last.

Because one year it will be.

Faucet Face

I am getting over a cold, or I have had a cold for near-on a week but in varying degrees. My nose is in the awkward dripping phase where I kinda want to just stick a wadded up Kleen-X in my nose and leave it there.

But that would be gross, so I won't.

Mirrors

Is it too cheesy if I walk down the aisle to Justin Timberlake's "Mirrors"?

Because I really like that song.

Even though I know it's probably going to be a very popular wedding song and I'd have to let go of being unique in my wedding song choice.

Hair

I've never sat under one of these hair dryers before. I feel like I should be an old lady getting my hair blued and permed.

And now I'm sleepy. It's so warm in here, with the air swirling gently around my head.

Content

I finished and mailed our taxes today.

We had a productive day.

And now we're vegging in our evening, happy in each others company, my biggest question whether "others" needs an apostrophe.

Nerves

I hate pre-audition nerves.

The end.

Confusion

"You know that bar over the stairs? Yesterday I grabbed it with my hands and put one leg over it!" He chortles at me with a goofy grin and I smile in a way that I hope doesn't look too puzzled.

Sometimes when people tell me things I get confused as to why I'm supposed to care. Had we been talking about climbing random objects in the museum? I don't think so.

Why was that anecdote so funny?

Is he the socially awkward one or am I?

Emerging

For the last month I've spent what seems like every waking moment either at work or at rehearsal/shows.  It's been fun but what a busy, hectic time!

I don't think S. and I can do another run like that - with both of us gone all the time the house kinda fell apart.  No clean dishes, no clean clothes, no-one to hang out with Z...she started moping and shaking every time we brushed our teeth, thinking we were going to leave her again.  She's pretty good at noticing our 'leaving the house' routine, although her 'cause and effect' logic is a little faulty.

But I'm glad we had the chance to do the show anyway, and I'm glad we had a chance to see what happens to us when we're both that crazy busy.

For the record, what happens is we fight a lot.  Now we know.  I think next time we get in that situation we'll be able to manage it better.

I hope.

I'm going into rehearsals for another show starting tonight.  A little part of me thinks I'm insane because I'm also trying to plan a wedding and get all of that stuff done.  Another part of me thinks it's just another month and then I'll be into a regular schedule again.

I think it'll be fine.

I've also had three different stories floating through my mine, all ones I've worked on and need to finish.  It's been impossible to find time to write - here or anywhere else - and I've noticed it.  It's pulling my brain into little pieces.  I wonder if it's been beneficial because I've put time into thinking; maybe it's been detrimental because I haven't caught all of my thoughts on the page.

So I'm going to go capture some of those thoughts.