Okay, so that is a little misleading. This isn't actually all about S., the person. It is a list of 10 things that I love that begin with the letter S. Antony at www.tothequiet.blogspot.com started this one - well, I guess he didn't start it exactly, but since he's the one who gave me a letter I'll give him the credit.
(I think the letter S is a most appropriate one for me.)
1. S. Of course. Although it scares me sometimes.
2. Snuggling. There is something so comforting and relaxing about being all cuddled up to someone (and by someone I mean S.), all warm and cozy. I love being held, and I count myself lucky that S. likes to snuggle while we watch t.v. or talk or listen to music, or just hang out.
3. My senses. Being able to see colours and shapes, like the ones that filled the art show that the first year students put on before school ended for the year or the ones that God fills the sky with every morning and evening. Smelling food or the first wild rose of the year, so sweet and delicate, and the smell of S. when I hug him. The taste of autumn air, filled with fallen leaves, and the taste of homemade iced tea, which brings me instantly to my grandparent's house. Hearing the spaces in between the notes of music, or a finely tuned choir singing in polyphonic majesty, or birds chattering while my friends walk down a sidewalk with trees whispering above. The feel of snow melting in my hands, of chocolate on my tongue, of lips on my neck... the senses are pretty fantastic.
4. Snow. Call me crazy, but I really enjoy snow. It was cold in my little village for quite a while before it snowed, and I complained with the best of them about the weather - but as soon as the ground was white, the temperature ceased to bother me. If there is snow, then I like the feeling of my nostrils freezing shut as I breathe, my eyelashes turning white with Canadian Mascara as my breath condenses to them, my glasses fogging up until I can't see a thing but frost. Snow crunching and squeaking underfoot, snow covering every mar in the landscape, snow that reveals the midnight dances of mice and small birds - I think it is beautiful.
5. Stories. I hold story in such high regard. My whole life is a story, and I mean that in a good way, not a 'I'm living a lie' sort of way. I really resent that the word story was ever used to describe lying, because stories are such a key way for us to communicate truth to each other. I have learned more important things from stories than from any other thing (except actual life experience, I suppose...but it is probably a much closer race than I even realize). The stories of Madeleine L'Engle, C.S. Lewis, Terry Pratchett, Orson Scott Card...there are too many people to list here. God's story. My story. Stories are so important. Perhaps that is why I want to devote my life to telling them in one way or another.
6. Which leads me to the stage. I do love the stage, although it scares me sometimes too. There is life there, like the life I find in stories, because it is where the stories come to life. An empty stage is potential incarnate.
7. Spirituality. I am glad there is more to this world than what I can experience with my senses, as much as I love them. The mystery that cannot be explained by anything, but that the spirit understands. The fear, the peace, the love, the wonder and trembling awe.
8. Secrets and surprises. I have, to my surprise, become a keeper of secrets for a handful of people that I would never have expected to become a secret holder for. It makes me wonder. I don't think I mind, but it can be tiring sometimes. Other times it makes me so happy because some secrets are wonderful - and those are the ones I love. And really good surprises, like the one I managed to pull off for S. (I wrote about it in an earlier post)...those are wonderful too.
9. Second chances. I don't know that I love them, but I am extremely grateful for them.
10. Singing. I didn't know how much I love to sing until this year, when I really started to use my voice properly and with confidence. Voice lessons have been a wonderful thing for me, and performing music in front of hundreds of people has helped my confidence immensely. I am so glad that I was given the gift of a beautiful voice. I love the feeling of my voice soaring out free and clear and bigger than I ever thought it could be. Music is beautiful. I'm glad God invented it.
And that brings me to 10. I didn't even touch on a sense of humour, or sunshine, stars, sweetness, salt and spices, savouring experiences, or sexuality. When I started, I wasn't sure I'd be able to find 10 things that began with s. It turned out to be surprisingly easy.
And now for another s-word I love - sleep. Too bad I have no one to snuggle with tonight...