God. Shoot me now.
I just got offered a job working as a door to door salesperson. I've done one training day and I already hate it.
That's probably not a good sign.
The whole atmosphere in the office is that it's all about the dolla dolla bills, yo. I can't. I just can't. I faked interest and enthusiasm yesterday. I'm not sure I can fake it again.
It's a straight up sales job, all commission. The money can be great. My trainer pulled in $275.00 yesterday. She's very persistent.
She also doesn't listen well.
One gentleman told us that he's with Telus and he's not happy with the service, but he wants his word to be good; he signed a contract and he won't break it because he has to look at himself in the mirror every day and that's worth more to him than saving twenty bucks a month. My trainer told him she broke people out of contracts all the time. He responded that he didn't care. His word was his word and he wasn't going back on that. She repeated that she could save him money. Like saving money is what life is about.
I respect that man. His viewpoint is a rare one. He is a trustworthy gent, and that is honourable.
My trainer has no use for that honour. I got a semi-dirty look when I told the man I thought he was respectable. She never told me off for saying anything, but as we walked away she dismissed him as 'old school'.
And the thing is, if you don't sell you don't make any money.
So my question is, do I want to devote any more time to this?
And my dilemma is that I have no other job. I have no other prospects either. I feel guilty even thinking about turning down a potential opportunity in favour of sitting at home on EI. I should take this job because no-one else is interested in hiring me. Right?
At least until I find something.
But what if I never do?
Is this a test of faith, or is this an answer to prayer?
It sure doesn't feel like an answer. How can if be if I feel so strongly about this after one day? I can't buy into the mindset of sales. The game. The chase. The 'kill'. That's what they fucking call it. A sale is a kill. Like we're a 'wolf pack' and we bring down gazelles.
But also poor!
I also can't believe that I will find success and be able to follow my dreams if I pursue a high paying job for a couple of years.
I feel like I'm whoring out my soul.
I guess that's my answer right there, isn't it?