Monday, July 28, 2008

Secret Thoughts of A Tour Guide

This morning I woke up feeling like a giant spring had coiled up in my chest overnight. It grew tighter as the morning went on, making it hard to breathe and blocking my emotions while simultaneously making me want to lash out in cruelty and weep uncontrollably.

As I opened the site four people went walking on without admission stickers. Here is our conversation:

Me: Do you folks have your admisssion stickers?

Them: No.

Me: Well, there is an admission to be on site, so -

Them: We got here when it was closed.

Me: Well, that doesn't really matter. We're open now, so -

Them: That's okay. We're leaving.

Me: Well fuck you too then.

In all honesty, I muttered that last sentence to myself while I walked away. But I did say it.

I spent the whole day avoiding as many people as possible and harshly judging the rest of them, except the few who won their way into my good graces by being exceptional tourists and interesting people. The father of the little annoying boy who couldn't shut up while I talked was not one of those people. Neither was the father of the other annoying little boy on my other tour. It was a rough day.

When I realized I was PMSing it all clicked together in a way that almost made me cry. It was so nice to have an explanation for why I suddenly, thoroughly, deeply hated everyone around me.

Hormones. Gotta love 'em.

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