Discontent

I am discontent.

I don't like my job. That's what I wish was different about my life. It's amazing how one thing, only one thing, can have such an effect on me. Then again, maybe it's not. I do spend 10 hours a day either preparing for work, at work, or on my way home from work - and then I structure the rest of my life (e.g., when I must go to bed so that I can be alert for when I must wake up) around work. So not liking my job is not a good thing.

I liked it most of the summer. It's just been in the last week that I've lost my interest in it.

It isn't even the job I don't like anymore. I don't mind taking people around on tours and doing odd chores around the place. It's that I feel like my bosses (there are two women in charge and I'm not sure which of them is ultimate boss - problem number one) have unrealistic expectations of what I can get done in a day.

They leave me a list of chores to do - which is fine. I can do chore lists. But I work half of my days on my own. I have to take every person on a tour if they want it - which means I could take six tours a day, of two people each. That means I can't get all the chores done. Then I get asked why I couldn't get all the chores done because "we only had 12 people" that day.

S. is running into the same problem. Yesterday, he decided to try to get chores done so he told people they could guide themselves (a viable option, not him being rude), and he got a lecture on how 'we must take everyone on a tour, they must get what they paid for' and not only that, we have to be 'up' the whole time.

So now I have to be cheerful while I do the impossible.

I can't wait for this job to be over. Only 14 work days left...

Whenever I have a job or process that I just want to get through, I tell myself that I can do anything for 14 days/one month/six weeks. It usually helps, but this time I'm not sure it's true. If nothing else I know now that I'd better not spend my whole life working at jobs that don't feed my soul unless I want to be an embittered old lady one day, sucking the joy and life out of those around me like a horrible vampire.

I can't spend my life feeling like this.