I'm not sure what I want.
I spend a lot of time not knowing what I want and not knowing where I want my life to go. At least I spend a lot of time thinking about what I want and I don't have many concrete answers.
Does anyone have something that they know they are willing to sacrifice for? Am I searching for something that doesn't exist or am I just going through a phase incited by poverty of body, mind and soul?
There are a few things I know I will do anything to keep...but that doesn't tell me where to go from here or which of the paths in front of me I need to take now.
Is this real life? Is this what it's going to be forever - not knowing which path to take next?
If so, it's going to be one hell of a frustrating ride.
That makes it sound all bad when it definitely isn't. Life is a great thing. I'm just not as settled into it as I thought I would be by now. Maybe it's me - I don't think I've ever been settled into life. It feels like I dip into it from time to time and spend the majority of life skimming along the top watching those on the inside. I don't know how to get in and I don't know if that's what I want anyway, but I also don't know what to do with my skimming. What is the purpose of being this way?
That's what frustrates me and if I don't find an answer I may well just go crazy.