I feel like I'm doing a lot of growing up real fast.
I'm glad I went to church today. I'm glad I have friends like the one who went to church with me.
The message was one I needed to hear. I am plagued with fears - still, goddammit - and today the pastor spoke on the fear of insignificance, which is one of mine.
Fear.
Trust.
I have to choose one, or be ruled by the other.
Isn't growing fun? I know fun times are being had by all on this end of the keyboard.
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Followers
So, I followed my friend Anthony to a church yesterday, not quite like I've done with other friends and family before.
At first I thought its name was St. Luke, and presumed to find some Catholic believers there. But no, I misunderstood, the full name turned out to be St. Lucas United Church of Christ. And the minister whose name is Lynn, reminded me of Brother Allen, Reverend Lyman Smith Allen, the first such man of God I ever did see.
(Lyman Smith Allen was one of the most influential ministers in the community of Henderson. He had been active in the civil rights movement and the reform movement in the community of Henderson. His sage philosophy was for someone who wants to know how to get and keep the trust of people, his philosophy that he had taught for over thirty years of his ministry.)
And Brother Lynn started talking and wanted to talk about Jesus, the Guy, not Jesus the God or Son of God or maybe even Jesus, the Holy Redeemer, and he asked what the first century Christians were called, since they were not called Christians yet, of course they were called followers. And some would call themselves Friends. And Lynn seemed to want to go back to a simpler time, about 50 A.D. I think, and try to think and feel what that might have been like. Many were Jews and some were Gentiles, there was a Doctor, and a Fisherman, and even there came to be Tax Collectors, Whores but maybe not any pimps, there were Mothers and Brothers, Sisters and Lovers, and so many Poor, poor in what I don't know, surely not in Spirit, nor poor in Love, and while at times some food was scarce, they still would share as equals are wont to do. And Lynn talked more about acting like Jesus than just wanting to worship him, just wanting to thank him for his sacrifice, just wanting to pray to him, asking for forgiveness, more about following what Jesus did in life and not as much about what happens after death, more about feeding the hungry, healing the sick, teaching those who want to learn, not giving in to hate, anger and especially to injustice.
So, in some sense the Age of Gods has passed, and truly as in the 'Lord of the Rings' we have come upon the Age of Humor, the laughing ones who have known so much Joy, so much sadness, we laugh until we cry, we laugh to keep from crying, so much madness has come to pass, we sometimes laugh without knowing why, and cry with a suddenness that only broken hearts can understand, or mended ones who had a helping hand from a friend who he followed to church one day...
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