Wednesday, March 15, 2006

A Time to Cry

Today has been a good day. I woke up rested, if a bit confused. I shouldn't wake up to the radio. It makes me forget my dreams and wonder what is going on. My dad called to say good morning, and to tell me that he had bought a plane ticket for me to come home for Easter, and that he had sent me some money. I went to dance class and only injured my knee a little bit. I have had a long break in-between classes which is like water in a drought. My brother sent me an email telling me that he forgives me for ganging up on his when we were younger, and that he loves me. I have two hours of rehearsal and then - the evening off. Of course, that means I will be learning lines but that's okay. I have time to do that.

Monday was not a good day. I shall rephrase that. It didn't feel like a good day. In retrospect, perhaps it was a good experience. But waking up tired is no fun. Waking up to muscles so knotted I could puke is no fun. Waking up sick is no fun. Waking up realizing that only two days have gone by since your last break even if your body is trying to convince you it's been seven is really not fun.

I got dressed and went upstairs and ate breakfast. I bit back tears that had no trigger. One of my roommates asked me how I was and they spilled over. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to start crying on you. I just don't know how I'm going to survive."
She nodded. Apparently it was Mid-Term Meltdown day at the Dahlen house.

It was nice to know I wasn't alone. Three of us sat and commiserated for a while and then went on with our days. I didn't do anything school related at all. I went to the office, and for the fourth time someone asked me how I was and for the fourth time I burst into tears. He's a teacher and the director of the show I'm working on right now. He was very sympathetic. I didn't feel like talking much, but he gave me a shoulder massage and listened to all the things I was communicating without speaking. It was a really good thing. I didn't realize he was there for that, or that I could go to him with frustrations and stress.

Later that evening I watched a chick flick with my girlfriends. We ate chocolate ice cream and when one of our guy friends showed up with music to show us, we acquiesced and he gave me a wonderful, wonderful back/shoulder massage. I had heard about his skills in muscle relaxing. Now I believe them.

So, Monday started with tears and ended with laughter. Perhaps Mondays are like March - they come in like a lion and go out like a lamb (or vice versa).

Days like that really make me appreciate days like today. Maybe that is all that days like that exist for.

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