Today is the first day of my study break. It is a beautiful day outside, sun shining blindingly onto the snow, animals running around or basking, according to their nature. I realize that I am a basker by nature. I wonder if I should try to go against type, or if that is a hopeless endevour? In acting school so much is about type. I have learned, for instance, that I am the perfect type to play Laura in "The Glass Menagerie". Whether that is a compliment or not, I'm not sure. I spend a lot of time and energy trying to not be that type of person.
I am supposed to be using this study break, not, as the name implies, to take a break from studying, but to catch up on all of the studying I haven't done yet. Instead I have baked buns, gone grocery shopping (and left some of my rightfully bought groceries in the store to my extreme annoyance - it's a half hour drive to go and claim them), cleaned my room and watched "The Godfather" for the first time. And I've done more sociallizing than I've done here all term. Oh, and I'm looking at the Red Carpet Gallery from the Academy Awards, which I didn't watch because I haven't got access to a television. I am not doing my research assignment, which my teacher already gave me a generous extention on.
I really like Diane Kruger's dress, and Nicole Kidman's isn't bad either. But what was Naomi Watts thinking? Ugh. I wonder if any of them knows anything about the Abbey Theatre in Ireland? Probably not...which makes me wonder about the importance, relatively speaking, of my research project in the first place.
Since my return from New York, I have been productive. I really have been. I went to class for a week. I spent over 20 hours in rehearsals for a play in which I have a main role. I turned 22, which believe you me, was quite an achievement, although some would argue it was a pretty passive one.
Oooh, I actually kind of like Salma Hayek's look this year. Reese Witherspoon, kind of cute. I like her hair. I wonder why so many of the stars are wearing big names like Armani instead of looking for new up and coming designers who (perhaps) have more creative genius and innovative ideas? Or at least, more initiative to make something stunning and unique? I'd like to think that's what I'd do if I was going to walk around the red carpet at the Oscars. And I'd like to think my smile wouldn't be as fake as Ziyi Zhang's, but who knows, it might just be the one bad photo in the roll. If they use rolls - they probably had a digital camera that they could delete the terrible photos right away - so perhaps her smile is just that forced, or she was having a bad day, or her dress was pinching?
See how good I am at procrastinating? I should get some sort of award for it.
I would have thought that as I aged I would get more responsible instead of less. I used to be the paragon of responsibility. A little part of me hated it, because my motives weren't very good. It was all about controlling my environment, and myself, to the point where nothing could go wrong or not according to my schedule or I'd have a mild and very controlled tantrum.
What is with Charlize Theron and big puffy bows? Good lord, woman - grow out of it already, and stop ruining dresses by adding two extra yards of fabric where they don't belong.
Anyway, I'd say I've gone the other direction now. I still wrote out the schedule for this study break, but I haven't followed it very well. In fact I am a day behind. Today was supposed to be blog surfing, email checking and line learning - which is what I have done - but I was supposed to have finished my reasearch project yesterday instead of spending the day cleaning my room, which I was supposed to have done the day before instead of spending the day chatting with the friend who unexpectedly dropped by.
Keira Knightley, good job! I heartily endorse that look.
I guess being flexible enough to actually take the time to socialize with friends is better than saying, oh, too bad you came today because I'm doing stuff. Go away now. Which a little part of me was saying in my head, distracting me from the conversation every once in a while as I thought of my list with longing. I'm sure there is a time and place to do that though. I know that if anyone tries to distract me (other than myself) today I am going to have to say, no, sorry, I'm learning lines today so I can actually be off book by Thursday and on top of that, I'm getting a cold and sore throat so don't even tempt me, goodbye - and the door will slam in their face.
And with that, I suppose I should slam the door in my own face by clicking the 'x' on the Oscars and beginning to care about theatre in Ireland in 1904. Yeay. Procrastination isn't really a fun game after all.