Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

A few days ago I was pulling my own little rain storm around by a leash. A very short leash too, I might add. I was irritable, grumpy and bouncing from emotion to emotion, and I didn't like it at all. All because I was a little bit sick, mildly hormonal, and very, very lonely.

All of the people I usually vent to about the little things in life are now on a schedule that perfectly opposes mine. I've written about this before, but it is still affecting me a lot. So much so that when my mom gave me the very matter-of-fact "Emergency rooms are not for colds" talk (one that I have given myself) I burst into tears and was a blubbering mess for half an hour. It was so good to talk to her. I was able to get out all of my minor frustrations and some of my big ones as well, and to just cry into the phone. It was exactly what I needed.

It means that today I am bubbly instead of blubbery. It is a nice change. I enjoy being happy. That isn't really a profound statement, but it is so true. Being happy is much nicer than being irritable and upset. It means I can take the little things in stride again. I'm back to what feels more like my normal self again. I like this a lot.

Plus I just got some good news. I wasn't sure I'd be able to go to the opening night of this show that has stolen my friends away - but now I can! That, and I just got my evaluation for my performance as an Assistant Stage Manager and it was a good one. And I'm not feeling as sick anymore, and the hormones are back on an even keel - and the weekend just ended, so I've actually gotten some friend time in. By Saturday I'll be feeling the loss again, but today - nothing but sunshine.

It's a good feeling.


Hope said...

sunshine is good. Wonder if I will ever stop being matter of fact? There is always hope.

Duckie said...

yay! i know how hard it is without contact with friends, who are you gonna talk to without friends?! :D glad things are getting (bubbly!) better!